Friday, December 7, 2012

Peace and Sanity

First let me say to Microdot how much I enjoyed your last comment. I saved it. Now I have given a great deal of thought to this and I have decided I don't like my blog as it is. To much controversy, to much something. I can't quite put my finger on it. I don't want to argue and I don't want to preach and I don't want to teach. I don't want to offer history lessons, or counseling or validation.

I was up all night with pain that the pain pills didn't help and reflected on dying. I am going to go back through my posts and delete everyone I don't like and that doesn't accurately reflect who I am. I don't want some of this stuff floating around on the internet forever when I die. I don't want to leave behind a legacy of anger and frustration. Numbers don't matter. I have written over 500 posts if you count the ones I eventually got rid of. I have had 11 followers quit since the beginning and one came back.

Frankly, I don't care what other people think and I don't understand my recent attempts at swaying opinion that I know from experience is carved in stone. An exercise in futility and I am angry with myself for getting sucked in to the never ending maelstrom of bullshit.

I don't want to make an issue of this but my blood pressure is a constant issue and I have to stay calm or I will have a stroke or a heart attack and possibly die. I need deserve peace. Obviously this blog is not providing it. I don't even know why I still continue to mess with it.

Ultimately all we have is each other, and we sure treat each other badly.

the rat