I wrote something

I notice that my last few posts where I actually write a post have sounded "preachy" or "holier than thou". It is just that I am so damn eloquent and my b.s. reads like prose it is often mistaken for something deeply philosophical when in reality it is nothing more than what I have surmised after 47 years of drinking bourbon.

Don't cry over spilled milk, don't worry about what ain't happened yet, don't spill your drink. Not a philosophy that warrants gold leafed, leather bound status. Besides, it is not my mission to reach out and render aid to my fellow man. Despite my finest efforts I have been unable to care about people who are there own worst enemies. I don't want to barge into their pity party and tell a funny joke. Hell, it might actually brighten your day! Wouldn't want that.

I had a childhood that makes a Clive Barker Horror movie look like "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory" Everyone who was mean to me when I was a child is DEAD! STONE COLD DEAD! HA HA HA HA HA Most of them suffered when they died! HA HA HA HA I digress! Let us move on!

I don't care what nonsense the average person has chosen to believe. Just don't bump into me while I am lifting the glass to my mouth and go with god, or whatever. Today within a period of less than 2 hours I saw more evidence that mankind is losing ground fast and probably won't survive to many more centuries. Have you noticed how everything that "they" can put an electric eye on now has one. Paper towel dispensers for instance. Of course, the ones I encounter require you to wave your arms around, make the sign of the cross, and perform some kind of exorcism, in order to get two sheets of paper to dry your hands. Hell, by the time I go through all that , I am too tired to return to the table.

Then of course there are waitresses. Cute as hell, and dumber than dirt!
I tried to tell Mrs. Rat that the waitress was functioning about as well as one could expect for a 75 IQ! Don't ask for butter and extra napkins at the same time, you could cause the poor thing to go into a seizure or something.

You notice how automatic toilet flushers flush before you have managed to stagger to your feet! Spraying you in punishment for not being quicker in your dismount! Then they flush again when you pull up your pants. Then they flush one more time while you are opening the stall door for no apparent reason. It is enough to make you believe in malevolent spirits! 

Went to the thrift store today to look for treasures. Nothing, zip, zero. Apparently, I have everything I need. Except more bourbon. Have to go make a bourbon and vodka run. Mrs. Rat drinks vodka. Go figure! Hope this makes up for two days of Google images. Have read everyone's posting , just ain't answering much. Have a good day. What am I saying!

the rat