Friday, February 24, 2017

trying to balance the scales.

While I have been busy writing these recent batch of posts, other places on the internet I have been busy dispatching justice, settling long overdue Karmic debts and trying to balance the scales.

I do this not because I naively believe it will right any wrongs or bring about any change but my desire to leave the internet in no worse shape than I found it in back when I first made my presence known. 2007-2008.

I have accomplished little here. I was honest and shared my feelings. I acknowledged my many mistakes. I apologized to much. I thought I could point out flaws without enraging fanatics (a fool's quest).  I am very disappointed with the experience overall.

I tried to use sarcasm as an effective tool to make my point only to discover that most internet readers don't recognize sarcasm. If I tried dissect some complicated idea into simpler to understand components I bored people. My posts would outlast the average attention span.

So expressing my thoughts have proven to be almost as difficult as trying to make yourself understood in a foreign country when you don't know the language. What is frustrating about this is I know of blogs where the author goes on and on, practically writing the opening chapter to a book and somehow manages to dazzle his audience with to be honest is eloquent bullshit. Obviously, a better writer than myself.

I could have stationed myself up on a pedestal and pretended to dispense knowledge like some Oracle of Wisdom but I chose to be honest and stay down here with the rest of you struggling to get through this life with a minimum of pain and confusion. Sharing rather than delivering a sermon. No pulpit here. Just a man trying to share his feelings.

It's days like today when I want to turn off the blog and wait patiently for 90 days until it disappears forever from Google's hard drives. I suspicion it wouldn't take 90 days to be forgotten in the minds of my readers. Just the rantings of some old fool who couldn't handle his pain.

The lies about me would survive with a life of their own. The distortions of the truths. The insults, the names. In the end the fanatics will win out , not because they were right, because they had the staying power to perpetuate their mad rantings. With the internet it is not who tells the truth who matters, it is who talks the longest.

13 comments:

  1. I hear you! Even though I have not been blogging quite as long as you have (I began in 2010) I have seen a lot of what you are speaking of. My blog has a rather "moderate" following (which is fine with me) and I never believed in blowing smoke up people's asses so to speak.

    I try to keep my blog as positive as humanly possible, but I will not bullshit just to get followers.

    Have a great day, Mr. Rat!

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    1. I am glad someone understands. I don't want to exchange pleasantries and talk about the weather. I don't want to hear the never ending rhetoric about left versus right politics and I don't want to debate religion. I don't care what kind of nonsense people believe if it helps them get through life successfully then it has merit.

      People are so scared shitless of any kind of emotional intimacy that they would rather suffer than share. Idiotic and sad but true. The internet with it's chat rooms and blogs could be a tremendous source of comfort for those who are suffering but it has been taken over by bullies and "intellectuals" who want their egos stroked. Those who need compassionate understanding continue to lurk in the shadows for fear showing their weakness would lead to a predator attack and it probably would. ON a more pleasant topic did you read my post birthday girl? ha ha ha ha

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    2. Indeed I did! You completely made my day Mr. Rat! I can not thank you enough for your kindness (and compliment for this aging "birthday girl") LOL!!!!!!!

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    3. kindness is a powerful form of magic! ha ha ha

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  2. Fanatics won't win out, can't win out. I think we've seen they tend to group, reach some sort of critical mass, then become self-destructive. But yes, we are always fighting their effect --which is renewed in ignorance and generations raised to bad ideas-- a problem we must solve over and over again. But we, who have suffered some blows in life, must continue to resist despair --yes, as you have said elsewhere, through compassion despite our pain, and that is a directive from within, for survival, maybe too intense for analysis, a mystery in itself. My pulpit consists only of a study of physics and tells me the universe does not dispose of a mystery. So it is probably in our best interest to remain one. But remember, I am only a substitute pastor, and a rather silly one at that.

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    1. I'm not sure I agree this time Geo. Using physics when dealing with human interaction requires chaos theory! To many variables, to much irrational components to formulate a predictable system. Take for example: Opposites attract-does that transform into predators are drawn to prey? A bizarre reach to say there is a corollary there! Human apes listen to the alpha in the room regardless of whether the alpha is honest or not. To their own detriment quite often but look at the world. That theory is proven true over and over. thanks for taking the time to chat. I enjoy your mind.

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    2. Your reply reminds me of the decades I spent as a gardener of public places. We'd get called in from all corners of the city for an address on policy and procedure, stand there in our work-boots and listen to some guy in a suit who had never done any of our jobs. Our real boss was a labor-foreman who worked his way up, was gruff, profane, tough and understanding, who knew 1st-hand what we were dealing with and checked with us 3 or 4 times a year. If I needed a machine screw for the butterfly valve in my tractor carburetor, I didn't call the alpha guy in the suit. I called my foreman. We'd listen to alpha suit guy out of politeness, knowing he'd be replaced within a couple years, as would his replacement and so on. I had the same foreman for over 30 years and, at his retirement party he bear-hugged me and everybody else who "never gave(him)any shit". I learned many things over those years but mainly I learned alphas in suits are not who you call when there's work to do. You call the guy who's done your job and everybody else's. Why people listen to guys in suits is a great mystery to me. I enjoy your mind too!

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    3. OK you win that one! Isn't it funny how none of those experienced men ever find there way to Washington D.C.? We are being run by the guys with suits and little else.Just like in the military. The Colonels don't run things it's the Sergeants.

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  3. It took me a while to figure that when people would read my blog post and comment. That I would wonder how they might come up with that...At times I was hurt and even angry.
    I use not take enough time to read my post before hitting the publish button
    But over the years one can't control one thoughts or opinion on any subject.
    I blog because I like it...But I have to say I like comments, like any one else.
    As long as there civil and sure hope I show hope I show you respect/
    Coffee is on

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    1. I have always appreciated your comments. You seem like a very level headed person.

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    2. some people have normal looking blogs and then leave comments on others you wouldn't believe.

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  4. "Isn't it funny how none of those experienced men ever find there way to Washington D.C.?"

    I think it's simply because they are just too busy working to spend time coming up with the bullshit lies to get there. That, and politics goes against the grain of honest, hard working people that care about what they do with their lives.

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    1. ha ha ha You are right about that! Would you want to be President? me neither. Why Trump wanted it at 70 years old is a mystery to me!

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