Monday, April 17, 2017

You can't turn back the clock, why try?

I have given it some thought and I think I got it figured out now. When I said I wish everyone peace, I mean it. When I say I forgive , that is not entirely accurate. I don't forgive gum on my shoe or some other bothersome thing that shows up every now and then. It is not significant enough to warrant that much thought.

I have been studying the concept of kindness. For the most part my kindness consists of not being abusive. I just realize how little I care and put it out of my mind and I have mistakenly been calling that kindness. I am beginning to grasp the Buddhist concept of "impermanence". For instance: people who have hurt me in the past, hurt the me back then, not the me now. I am not the person I was 30 or 40 years ago. The only connection I have with the person I was back then is a few fading memories that connect us. In reality we are not connected at all in any significant way!

So harboring a grudge is silly from that point of view. You will notice I haven't mentioned the other party being a different person. They are in reality but in my mind they haven't changed. It is the memory of who they were I would be angry with if I chose to continue that path. I know people who were wronged 50 years ago and to this very day refuse to let it go.

I suppose in order to do that one must get hurt fresh each time they think of the incident . The thing is it is your mind hurting you today not anything they did. It is you keeping the pain alive! So it is not a matter of forgiveness as much as it is acknowledging that it happened to a different you. Hey, this works!

Today you are the culmination of your whole life's experiences. You are "hopefully" the best you that you have ever been. What ever hurt you experience today will become just a memory tomorrow. Let it go!

4 comments:

  1. Great advice! It's not always easy to do but it definitely helps when you can do it.
    A feeling of relief comes over me which is much better than holding a grudge.

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    1. It took me almost 40 years to let stuff go. I am way happier now. Life is to short to spend it mad.

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  2. Wise words Rat. Good stuff to roll around in the ol' noodle for awhile. Always nice to hear from you Sir!
    ~J

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    1. If I have any wisdom at all it is because I have made just about every mistake a man can make and most of them more than once! I'd like to think I've learned from my mistakes. Good hearing from you JL. My best to you and yours.....

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