Tuesday, June 27, 2017

Tuesday 9:14 PM

If Hell had a name plate on the door I have often thought it would be REGRET. The Buddha was wise when he counseled living in the present moment. The past is full of regret and blame,  the future is full of anxiety and dread. Mindfulness is difficult to practice when soul crushing memories are lined up to stab you repeatedly.

Bad times lead to blame and regret which leads to sorrow and self loathing which leads to darkness and anguish. Sounds like hell to me. Of course, you can take small comfort in the fact that you at least feel. Many  people don't. They have rage inside them and little else. The rage has eaten up every other feeling and all that is left is the need to lash out and hurt others. Hurting others doesn't help but they continue on until either sickness, death or the law stops them. Mad dogs need put down.

For those who still feel there is the hope of redemption. Not forgiveness of a God, forgiving yourself is the only real forgiveness. Take responsibility for your actions at the time and realize that circumstances contributed to the situation and then forgive yourself. Grow, learn, try and be as kind as you can and be at peace. This life ends sooner than you think.

Easier to write that to do, I confess. Friends, we are all staggering through this life without a map. Walking a tight rope without a safety net. There is no instruction manual to help. You don't need any one or any thing telling you that you are born flawed or missed the mark. Inherited imperfection? We are what we are and we all do the best we can. We get overwhelmed sometimes, some of us get  crushed, some of us grow tough skins and harsh attitudes and allow the world to harden us. Mrs. Rat saved me. She caught up with me in time to pull me back from the abyss while I could still feel. Her love provides me with meaning.



  1. It's good that you have someone that helps you get through the day. I have someone like that too. We've been together for almost 27 years and these days long relationships just don't seem all that common place.

    1. me and the Mrs. met in 1993. got married in 94. best years of my life.


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