I will write another post on this god awful depressing subject to satisfy a request by a reader. If depression is hard to describe then anxiety most be the icing on the cake.
Let's talk about anxiety. Now seeing the storm clouds rolling in and hearing the wind pick up during hurricane season causes a certain level of anxiety for a normal person. Genuine concern and a feeling of helplessness. But anxiety as a mental disorder is feeling like that on a sun shiny day! You are in a room full of people laughing and joking and everyone is having a terrific time when suddenly you start to get nervous, you start to sweat, your heart starts to race, your ears start to ring and you have difficulty breathing. It is all you can do not to run out of the room or worse pick up a chair and throw it at a window. That my friends is anxiety.
In my particular case, anxiety usually shows up when I feel inadequate. I feel overwhelmed for some reason. I fail to live up to my promises, I let people down. Failure and anxiety go together for me. Couple that with feelings of hopelessness from the depression and you are experiencing the good old one two punch! What to do? you ask. Well you lay there and hope the bell rings ending the round before the ref counts you out! Can you tell I used to box?
The other thing that triggers an anxiety attack for me is loud "noise". not loud music, noise! A hundred people in a restaurant and they are all trying to talk loud enough to be heard over the music coming out of the ceiling. Screaming children, old people who refuse to acknowledge their hearing loss so they scream at you when they speak. I will get so nervous I want to jump out a window to get away! So far I have resisted that notion.
You see a bear coming at you, what you are feeling is fear!
You think the boogey man might be in the closet, that's anxiety. Irrational fear or fear for no reason. I can be sitting in my recliner working a puzzle in the paper and suddenly get so nervous I have to get up and go outside and walk it off! Imagine getting those feelings in the middle of the night! I can tell you what programs play at 3 a.m.
If these posts sound familiar and you want to share your feelings then by all means tell us your thoughts At least tell me what you think of the articles and make sure to ask for more if that is your desire. Otherwise, I am ready to play some music!